Again, for the past few weeks, I have been experiencing mom guilt that now has morphed into worry. At first, the guilt came from losing my patience so easily, for saying “no” a lot (not wanting another mess to clean up), and for not spending quality time with them as often as I should. But now, all this guilt leaves me with a worrisome thought:
Do my children see me as a joyful mom or a miserable mom?
Let me first say, that I don’t believe that a good mom has happy children all the time. In fact, I think an unhappy child is a sign that I’m doing my job. I’m to be their mother, not their best friend. However, I want my children to see that being their mom is a blessing, not a curse. I want them to feel treasured, not tolerated. And, most of all, I want the way I parent them to be a picture of Christ’s love.
The other day, I came across this post that I wrote on my personal Facebook page, a while back.
Just the other night, I was sharing with a group of moms about how I want my children to think of me as a joyful mom. I am in a very difficult season right now with Kevin traveling a lot. Most days I feel like a single mom. So, as you can imagine, with all the demands motherhood brings of raising three children, flying solo leaves me weary, cranky, and flat out exhausted. Often, joy is hard-pressed to find when my patience is worn thin. While I know it’s a season that too shall pass, my fear is that this season will define and shape their childhood. When they are older and peek back into the past, they will see me as anything but joyful, and worse, will mimic me and not be joyful moms themselves.
Today was “Morning with Mom” day at school with Jacob and Chloe. We got to eat donuts together this morning. They each brought in a special note to let me know how much they appreciate me as their mom. When I noticed Chloe’s response on the last question, tears welled up in my eyes. The question was, “One word that describes my mom is?” Her response……….”joy full”.
Lord, you are so good! Your peace, reassurance, hope, and grace overwhelm me. You have calmed this mommy’s fear, even though I didn’t ask for you to in prayer.
The Lord knows our every thought, every fear, and every worry. So thankful that God not only answers our verbal prayers, but also the prayers of our hearts. Oh, and on a side note, Jacob’s one word to describe me was “pretty”. For me, that was the icing on the donut!
After reading that post, I felt the Lord once more replacing the worry with His peace and assurance. Sweet friend, if you’re feeling the mom guilt with worry heavy on your heart, take comfort that God knew you were the perfect mother for your child. If you sincerely seek your Heavenly Father’s grace and guidance in raising your children, rest assured that you are a “joy full” mom. Though we may feel it’s our worst, God takes our best and makes it great for His kingdom!